LOVE ME MORE

LOVE ME MORE

don't give up on me!

fuck, can't you get over the difficulties

am i not worth it?

i am sooooo flexible with how i love you

so fucking LOVE ME MORE

WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME MORE?

why should i even ask

JUST LOVE ME MORE

and over come what ever it takes

TO LOVE ME MORE

because i am worth it

love me, love me more!

THE ESSENCE

LOVE ME!

Love me MORE.....

Love me NOW!

Love me STRONG.

Love me - I want to FEEL it

I need to HEAR it

Can i see it?

Love me MORE.

Love me MORE!

Love me MORE!!!

NOT THAT MUCH

Love me LESS

i can't take the stress

Love me soft

Love me at night

Wait.

I can't feel your love

Is it gone???

Give it back

LOVE ME MORE

Love me NOW

Love me love me love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Not so much

and so on.....

the temple.

taking care of this body,believing in it

knowing i can fix it when things go wrong.

being flexible with my thoughts, with my plans.

using compassion.
and saying-Amen,just before i fall asleep

within me

talking to myself.

E- enjoy being present

feeling the now and here:]

i know he is there.

And you are here.

this fact is a physical barrier creating craving , uncertainly ,happiness,excitement and disconnection all at the same time

it has nothing to do with you being able to feel connected to this moment.

i answer:

my heart is not else where it's within me

E-i remind you with love:"live life " as you say,live it to the fullness of it

Right now with this fire in your heart

live it as if every thing is certain. you know it is.

take this love and create with it

let it inspire you

don't allow it to create a feeling you might be else where in your thoughts

bring the love into your world,in an energetic way

and any way E, what does it matter?

You know,things happen as they should

effortless

with trust

trust yourself to know when to let go, and when to feed these bubbling fire works

ok -?

ok,i am here. and i will be in spain in a few days, then in NY, from there to Belgium, then again back to spain.it's a challenge.

just be present.

live to fullness of everything.

go girl-as you know so well to do

just set all those thoughts free,and let your heart grow those wings

let it sing

and trust

you will land on a safe land

your own creation.

and you are a creator.

GO.

thanks E.

any time

E.

direction for love.

i guess with me,it's always been about directions

no-not this way... this way....

love me more, love me less, love me different....

not the way-you want to love.

but the way i need to be loved.

the way i understand love.

and if you can't ill push you to the end ,maybe you can?

then you will crack-and when almost broken i will understand

you can't love me the way i want you 2.

now-you can go.

ill cry.

i wonder after trying this for many years.

it would be very nice

to learn to accept the variety of emotions handed to me

different colors and vibrations...

it's true they might not be enough for me.

but just enjoy what is givin,with out it make me feel how much i miss.

or -

should i just recognize the hole it creates in me, and move on as fast as possible?or just stay and learn to accept the beauty of your shades of love?

because i usually need more.what ever it might be. more freedom, more connection

more intensity,more ...

heart beat

it's the heart who is telling me-don't stop

feel it all

let it in

it is this heart-that beats threw out our life's

who needs to be in charge

i don't want to fight it

i can't ignore it

and i want to open it

this heart of mine is so carful

he knows so many things

and yet-saves them to himself

i need to quit every thing around him to hear his voice

for now again he is missing something

he wants to love and hug

i remind him-to embrace life and not love alone

love is life

and life is only about love

what else is there?

shy heart

don't be so suspicious of every thing

as if you can keep me safe

life isn't a safe place

your not my mother just go out there and live

so it's my heart who is telling me not to stop...

so i go on....

A request from myself:

Love me.

Love meeee...

Ok, just don't hate me.

I can't take the hate

I hate the hate

No strong feelings please.

Just be Ok.

Be Ok-being me

Be Ok with me-being me

As i am

As i am-is Ok!

Even though-i don't like being me at moments,at times

It's so annoying and out of control

But don't hate me for being me.

And if you can- love me on top of not liking me right now

Just when i can't take it any more

The moment i want to give up

just be OK

OK-and stay

Don't give up on me

Please...

stay.

be my friend.

LOVE SONG TO SHAYAN

I love to love

let me love you

I love to eat-can i have you?

I need to hug-let me squeeze you

I want a bite-let me bite you

don't run away-stay

don't say- no,or look away when my eyes smile to you

and even though you are not even 2 years old

please let me love you

and love me back-for a sec

with a smile

with a word

with a BYE BYE...EYFO ATA?

shayan

fall into my sadness

I don't want to fall into my sadness

it's a pool of water

it seems like friendly water

clear and fresh

but once falling into them i loos my sense of direction

I fall into my sadness

I am the pool ,i am the Crystal clear water

I am sadness

so-i don't want to fall

fall into my sadness

it's to much

it's 2 sad.

THE SUN

i was not thinking

obviusly...

for if i was to think-i wouldn't have left the door to my heart- so open

I was not thinking,i was trusting.

trusting myself to be able to handle what ever it is that wants to enter

A door was left open-and you walked in

you brought Joy with music, freedom with your wild eyes,you brought movment to my stillness

and peace to my search

I was happy

I needed nothing

I had it all

You were my sun and light

My moon and stars

My breakfast , lunch and dinner

i knew it will change

never end

for the love and trust was there for good

so we said-so we still mean.

Yet i feel the cold wind and the foggy sky

it's to early and

i find: clouds and dark nights

I miss my happiness the way it felt with you

the door to my heart -feels fine

but it is the joy that is lacking

I miss it so

I should know what to do-for i am the sun as you say

i should be able to shine and rise and worm myself as others

turned out you were my sun-love

pink sun glasses for lenna

milk shake

shake me up

you shuck me up

i am bubbling ,foam,and mixed up

waiting for it all to settle back

into one cup.

up side down

on the crown

hand stand -head stand

flip

now please, down-to the ground!

oops,i feel i'm still up side down!

help! my feet?

can't seem to remember where to put them down?

you shuck me up -it shuck me well

ok then- "i'm a milk shake!" is the only thought that calms me down

i understand-

it might take some time for it all to settle down

like black coffee-needs time

only this is a thicker mix

So

milk shake i say

with my

eyes open

watching the ground-i will

land

i will understand

i will feel like myself again

bubble bubble bubble

and -sleep

and -time

and -give me some timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i wish not to miss

i wish not to miss

miss you so much

i invited you to tour my heat-

walk into it, sit every where

feel at home

it's yours to share

my heart is all open, there are no locks on the doors

at first it's all calm

my heart is having fun

you take your time.and we both feel this is

a special time

a door is opened

then with time another

next thing i know,you find a door i didn't know

and just as you open it

you have to go

my heart is open

you left me like this

there is an emtpy room ,with an open door

holding all the colors of my feelings towards you

i wish not to miss

but i can't help ,but miss

and that door has been spreading a small storm

i stand straight ,smile and sing your song

I fall for this moment

i fall

i fall into your mouth

i lean ,i lean into your look

i gaze ,i gaze into your eyes

i touch you're skin

i sip you're breath

i taste you're smell

i fall

i fall for the moment

there is none but us

there is nothing but the gaze between us

the time stops

you smile

i fall deeper into you're teeth

it's only you

it's only you this moment

and the fact that we are sitting in a dinner party with all our friends

makes it even more-obvious

i fall

i fall for this moment